Posts

Divorce

I can't imagine the hardships that are faced by the many families having to go through this awful process. There are so many factors to these hardships and I would like to talk about a few things that I have learned about and that I have seen in my life. Unfortunately I have some very close friends that went through a divorce. It's hard because it seems like there is nothing wrong on the outside, but with divorce there is always something going on behind the scenes. I can't be 100% sure on the reasons for the divorce of my friends, but I have a hunch that my friend may have been seeking to fill emotional holes without consulting her husband about them or attempting to work on them or fill them together. With divorce sometimes there are difficult situations where your partner may not be willing to even talk about anything or about the reasons why. Some of the best things we can try to do to save the marriage is serve your spouse. Many times with divorce one party is lo

Effective Parenting Strategies

This week we focused on the different parenting strategies and communication techniques we can use to help improve our relationship with our children. First we took a look at the purposes of parenting. Not only this, but we also took a look at different cultures where parents may have been taken out of the equation. I thought this was a really good way to look at it. I don't think we realize just how important parenting is. My eyes were certainly opened  to somethings. We made a list of some of the purposes of parenting for both the children and parents, you might also look at them as benefits. The list looked like the following: Purposes of Parenting: Children: Values, not just ideas are being taught Help to know of Christ/ Helps to become one of his disciples  Personalize/ Example Helps them launch into life Distinguishable person Parents: Become more like our heavenly parents  Patience & Humility  Christ like love Learn about ones self Learn from our

Communication is Key

Communication is truly an amazing thing. There are so many different forms, often times we forget that words aren't the only thing showing how we feel. One way to look at the breakdown of communication is by putting it in three categories. These categories are, 1.) Words, 2.) Tone, and 3.) Non-verbal. Studies show that words make up 14% of communication, tone makes up 35%, and    non-verbal 51%. I can already see how true this is in my own life because I'm almost always an open book. I often times find myself having a hard time controlling my non-verbal gestures, facial expressions more than anything. Even though we each express ourselves differently and have different flaws in communication, there are ways we can make up for some of those flaws. David D. Burns wrote a book called "Feeling Good Together." In this book there is something called the 5 secrets of communication, these are ways to help us improve relationships specifically. I would like to take a moment

Coping With Difficulties

There are a lot of things that we each have to deal with in life. We don't get to choose what we go through, but we can choose how to react to each of the trials we face. Two of the things we learned in class that really stuck out to me were, "the ABCX Model" and "The Ten Forms of Twisted Thinking." We were able to apply these in class which I really liked. Seeing these principals applied to actual situations made it easier to identify these things in my own life and the lives of those close to me. In the ABCX model each letter stand for something specific. A: Actual event, B: Both resources & response, C: Cognition, and X: Total eXperience. Its important to know the ten forms of twisted thinking as well. The following are the ten forms: 1. All-or-nothing-thinking 2. Overgeneralization 3. Mental filter 4. Discounting the positive 5. Jumping to conclusions 6. Magnification 7. Emotional reasoning 8. "Should statements" 9. Labeli

Love and Intimacy

This last week we spoke about marital intimacy and the benefits of knowing the differences in males and females views on intimacy.  As a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints, we believe that sexual intimacy should be saved for your spouse only after marriage.  God gave us the commandment to "multiply and replenish the earth." This has always been apart of Gods plan. Marital intimacy is a blessing and gift that we have been given to both bring us closer to our spouse, and to bring children into this world. The only problem is that Satan has distorted and warped the way the world views sexual intimacy and sexuality in general.  As we discussed this topic, I was reminded of a message that was shared by Sister Nelson. The message is called "Love and Marriage." I would like to share 4 truths that she brings to attention, and discuss each one a little bit.  " Truth #1:  Truths about love and marriage are brought to you by the Holy Ghost f

Prep for Marriage

This week we discussed a little bit of everything leading up to marriage. There was a model we used throughout this week and the last. Imagine 4 stairs, at the top is dating, the next is courtship, then engagement, and finally marriage. The main focus these past few days was the last two steps of the model. There are a lot of things we can do to help prepare ourselves for marriage! Some of these preparations should be taking place before we are engaged in the courtship stage. Something that I believe was really important was the connection and merging of the husband and wife. We discussed different things that come along with each step. Some of the things that I had written down under the engagement step were, planning the wedding, learning to plan, founding a family, and preparing to make and keep covenants. I want to talk a little bit about what I meant by the merging of the husband and wife. The way it was depicted was that there were two families, two sets of parents, one set o

What is Today's Definition of Dating?

This week we discussed many things about dating in today's day and age. We looked at and compared some of the dating norms from today with some of the dating norms from back when our teacher was dating. We also examined some different concepts and teachings from the book "How to Avoid Falling in Love with a Jerk."  It was interesting to see how much things have changed with technology and our culture. Today the word dating has had its definition changed. More often than not people think that dating not only means going out on dates with someone, but it can also mean that you are exclusively seeing this person. I was speaking with one of my classmates and she was pointing out that kids dating today is even looked down upon by other kids. If one girl is going on dates with many different guys she can be shunned or disliked by other girls for doing what everyone one should. Everyone should be comfortable with going on dates, but we have this idea that once we start going